Seen & Heard

* Holding an uncle's hand. Stroking a brother's hair. Hovering over the foot of a best friend's bed.
* Nam-myoho-renge-kyo and dreams of a love of his life whispering while Chet Baker croons.

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Breaking Silence

I broke the silence like a broken record last night.  A free diver shouting "you matter!"  Even the bitch of a fish with the big teeth and a lightbulb saw it coming.  Not morbid curiosity, but real compassion.  I plunged into blackness where bottom feeders run amok.  I am crabs.  So many all of us except for when the vibrations are overwhelming and it was never his but yours.  The tiny hairs and a sonic heartbeat.  The sharp edges becoming wings and we fly over the horizon to catch the light before it burns out.  That light is yours not his.  You feel sun not him.  And the waves cover my ears.

How Am I Not an Alcoholic?

How am I not an alcoholic?  I've asked.  Often.  Facing a mirror.  In the Shower.  At the bar.  On a couch.  When I'm stupid.  To my closest friends.  To strangers who listen.  Like my emotional affair.  After the breakup.  A New Years Eve meltdown.  During the jazz crooning years. And my hiatus from sleeping.  In the darkest room. I can't seem to shake.  With the right spirit, you can pretend to know all the secrets.  Tell the ones you weren't curious about.   Poetry tumbler out of your mouth.  The kind that doesn't rhyme or isn't metered. Spilling fantasies on a silk blouse.  Head splitting into endless combinations of letters into words into sound under a paper umbrella and modesty tears everything apart.  But I dance better when I don't drink.

water ballet

Unable to perceive the shape of 

You, I find You all around me. Your 

presence fills my eyes with 

Your love, It humbles my heart, For You 

are everywhere.