Less is More or Less

Tuesday night I took my first and probably last, for a while, flamenco class with the advanced students. They usually get asked to perform with Sol Y Sombra (dance co), yet success feels like it's measured by what is acquired outside of the studio. Rings, weddings, husbands, babies, degrees, status, dresses (from Spain), vacations (in Spain), homes, SUVs, etc... These things always separating me from them. Mostly it's experience. The one that matters. I've only been dancing with Maria Loreta since 1995. I took a break to try my hand at love, music, & Austrian life. I moved back soon after with no strength left for dancing. Finally, in 2000 I started private lessons and quickly moved into intermediate-advanced. I haven't stopped, but these advancees have more history, more cash, & more stuff. Maria believes I've got what it takes. She wants me on Tuesdays. There are just other, more pressing, matters for me to tend to on those nights. When she started us on the Colombianas (slight coincidence), I realized a weakness more than ever. The girls were unaffected by their own reflection. I, on the other hand, felt self-conscious. It wasn't aesthetics. It was simply knowing, who I am and what I don't possess. Though my definition of success is more abstract, I wondered if everyone else looking back saw less.